Here I am on this rainy evening, just back in from a day pass and waiting to get today’s dose of chemo. So you know I am allowed, actually encouraged to leave on day passes, as this round of chemo only occupies about 2 hours of my day. While I don’t do much when I’m out it is great to be home or in another environment, and more importantly eat food right out of the oven. And yes I am still eating fairly well although my stomach has started to form it’s own opinions, I still have a miniature brainstorming session prior to each meal.
I haven’t been in touch for a bit as I really haven’t felt like writing, but today I have made myself touch base as it is important to me that I write consistently. The past week has been uneventful, more drugs, different ones, but nothing major to report. My levels are still fine, no official counts, as they won’t begin to drop for a couple of days yet, at which point I should be home. I am scheduled to be released tomorrow shortly after I finish chemo and from there I will be in the same situation as last time, “go to emergency now” should I feel anything different or spike a temp.
Transplant Decision: I think I have realized that I am still thinking about the decision but I really don’t want to talk about it. Please don’t ask me about it, on email or in conversation. I am at a point where I am not happy with either of my major options, have the Transplant in April, which is when I should have it, or don’t have it in April. Since I want to be content and comfortable with my decision, whatever it may be, I am having real trouble with the process. As my Grandmother pointed out, I am at a stand still as I really have all the information I need yet there is nothing that is dragging me one way or the other, to the degree necessary to make a decision anyway. So that is where I stand, I have been a little distant over the past week and may be over the next couple of months, at this point I don’t know.
And for me not knowing is one of the hardest things……
Geoff
#4