In my last message, or the one before that, I did a little comparing of how I am at around Day 140 Post Transplant, compared with how I was at Day 140 Post my first Transplant. And for those of you around me for both Transplants you’ll know that there is no comparison. My first Transplant was in April 1999 and by Day 140 I had just awoken from my coma, this time there has been no serious life-threatening infection, no ICU and no coma, not yet and hopefully not in the future. Because I haven’t had a major set-back since my second Transplant – in October of last year – I am far ahead on this Day 140 than I was last time after my first Transplant.
That said much of the same experiences are arriving at my door. While it took me much longer to get to this point, regarding my physical and mental capacity, after my first Transplant I am finding that I’m facing many of the same Challenges.
Right now the big Challenge is my physical strength and stamina. I feel well, no daily pain as I’ve had in the past, I’m sleeping really well, my blood counts are pretty solid, but my energy and body need rebuilding. And that Challenge is one that will take time and effort. I can handle that, it is a road that is familiar to me, I know the way, and I’m up for traveling it again. I know as I do more, I’ll be able to do more, and since launching the Coins Drive I have certainly been doing more.
Another Challenge that is on my mind lately is one that I have addressed before, and I want to talk about it just as a reminder more than anything. I want you all to know that in every situation and Challenge that I encounter, whether it involves my health or any other area of my life, I make the effort to be Positive as best I can. I also want you to know that I’m a regular person, I do get frustrated, upset, angry, I experience a full range of emotions as many people do when they face Challenges, whatever they may be. I’m not sure if I accurately portray that image to you all because honestly I never really thought of how I portray myself to you. Most often I come to my keyboard with a feeling of wanting to write, I get here and put words to thoughts and you get a message.
That’s what I’m doing here. I guess what my fear would be is that you would be a member of my email group and not realize that I do have struggles, I do get down, and there are lots of times when I’m mad at my situation. I can make a list as long as I am of the things that I love and miss, the things I used to do before November 6th, 1998 when I first went to the ER after passing out. I can make another list of things that frustrate me, situations, people, physical pain, feelings, travel, a whole collection of experiences that I would never have chosen. Right now I am struggling with some of those experiences, and haven’t quite figured out my way around or through them yet.
However I have to tell you that for every item on that “pissed off” list, I can put one on a list of reasons why I’m blessed. My parents, my family, my close friends, my Healthcare Team, the opportunities I have had since November 6th, 98, I could go for a long time with this list.
I want you to know that I experience lots of tough, trying situations, and from time to time they do get me down and frustrate me to the point where all I want is my room, no lights, and my head between a couple of stereo speakers playing my music so I can think, or not think, about where I am and what’s happening.
But I also want you to know that when I encounter those times I always make the effort to be Positive about what I’m feeling and experiencing, as I know that being Positive is like Happiness, there’s no way to it, it is the way. It’s a decision we all have the power to make, it’s not going to be easy necessarily, but I feel it will always be worth the effort. As I tackle my next set of Challenges I know and accept that I’ll have frustrating times, and that it’s OK I’m allowed to feel upset. What I won’t allow myself is to stay that way, and I’ll always make the effort to see the Positives in my Challenges, and I can tell you that in my past 3 and half years I’ve learned and had it proven over and over that I’m always best to work my way to the Positive perspective. No matter how much effort it may take.
Have a great week.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
