Name: Elise Bonder  (@elisebonder on Instagram)

Age: 30 at diagnosis in 2012 (now 37 in 2019)

Hometown: Ottawa, ON

What was your diagnosis?  Colon cancer, stage 2 and stage 4

What school did you attend?  University of Ottawa

What is your career goal? To be fulfilled and to help others enjoy the most of their life.

What is/was your occupation? (Was) Aquatic Manager. I’m on permanent long-term disability now.

 

Your cancer experience:

How did you find out you were sick? What led to your diagnosis?
For months, I saw my fitness level decline. It got so bad, it was hard to go for a walk without my heart rate going into the 150s. A flight of stairs would get me in the 200s and it would stay high for an hour! It was so gradual I didn’t notice until it got really bad.

I complained to my doctor that I was tired all the time. She did some tests and bloodwork and called me back a few days later. I was sitting in a hotel room in Las Vegas waiting to pick up a puppy and fly back home and she tells me I’m so anemic I’m at risk of having a heart attack.

Fast forward three flights home with a new puppy, “Ride,” an overnight emergency stay for a blood transfusion, a month of waiting for a scope, colonoscopy prep, upper endoscopy and colonoscopy and BAM, YOU HAVE CANCER. And yet, it didn’t feel like that.

The surgeon said, “There is a very large 10 cm mass and a smaller 4 cm mass; it’s most certainly cancer. I took lots of biopsies of it and we’ll call you with results soon.” By the time I heard it was officially cancer, I’d come to terms with it. The journey began.

What year was it? What was your age at the time?
January 2012; I was 30.

In which hospital were you treated?
Ottawa General

At what level of education were you at diagnosis?
I had finished university and was working.

What were your first thoughts when diagnosed?
Somehow, I was not stunned. I thought “Why wouldn’t it be me? What makes me so special that I can’t get cancer?”

How did your family react?
My mother was devastated. My husband: devastated. My brother: in utter shock. My dad had passed; I’m thankful he wasn’t here because the diagnosis would have crushed him. Instead, he was sitting with me in spirit.

How did your friends react?
My friends were simply amazing. They reached out to make every aspect of my journey easier. I can’t imagine life without them.

What did your treatment consist of?
For my initial diagnosis (stage 2), I had a right hemicolectomy (remove the right side of my colon) with reattachment right away (no colostomy).  Then eight rounds of chemo (Xeloda) including grueling hand and foot syndrome.

Your recurrence?
I was following my regular scan schedule, colonoscopies and bloodwork after I finished chemo and had returned to work full-time. About 16 months passed and my blood cancer markers kept creeping up. CT wasn’t picking anything up but PET found a lesion. Cancer had metastasized to my liver.

I was lucky to be a candidate for a partial liver wedge resection. I had only one met in lobe 8 and it was removed before I did mop-up chemo. Twelve rounds of FOLFOX, hold the oxaliplatin after round five.

What is your current medical status?
I’m NED, No Evidence of Disease, since I finished chemo in January 2015.

How is life different for you now post diagnosis?
After chemo one, during my treatment phase, I was really positive and took things pretty easy. Each day, the goal was just to walk and train the dogs, take a shower, and eat healthy meals. Most days, most of those things happened! Some days, none of those things happened!

Once I finished active treatment, cancer forced me to look at every aspect of my life to decide “Is this good enough?” I scrutinized every aspect of my life and wanted to make it perfect. Eating well wasn’t good enough anymore; I wanted to eat “perfect.” Being fit wasn’t good enough; I wanted to be super-fit. Paying off my mortgage wasn’t good enough; I wanted it gone now. I had to take a big step back and relax! I am still finding balance in all these things. I don’t want to feel as though I wasted my second chance at life.

After chemo two, I’m a different person in a lot of ways. In many ways, I’m better. I’m more patient. I’m tougher. I’m still in awe of life. There are lots of struggles, too.

What is the toughest part of your challenge?
After chemo one, living every day and not being afraid of tomorrow. Being out of active treatment but not yet having reached five years is scary. I know what the odds are of still being alive in five years; they’re good, but they’re not great. The challenge is living life to its fullest despite the fear, the uncertainty, the tests, the scans.

After chemo two, being years out, the scans are easier. The blood work is easier to wait for. The side effects of treatment are still crushing. The chronic fatigue and how it affects everyday life. The way brain fog screws with almost all aspects of life. The neuropathy and associated pain are ever-present. It was all worth it.

What was the best lesson you took away from your challenge?
Life is undeniably beautiful when you open your eyes and look. A single snowflake; the smile of the stranger who poured your coffee; and my favourite, the sky. Sunrises, bright sun, rain, cold air, sunsets, and STARS!

What really motivated you to keep going while you were sick?
My young puppy who came home the day I was sick and was with me every single day. He deserved a walk and a training session every day.

What are your thoughts and feelings about your illness now? Have they changed since before your diagnosis?
I can’t say I’d ever really thought of colon cancer before. Cancer hadn’t touched me personally before I was diagnosed. I have no friends or family with it. I’m the first.

Did you attend any support groups during your challenge?
I used the Colon Club’s cancer forum at lot to connect with others. It was a place where having colon cancer was normal! After I was done chemo one, I connected with YACC and found “home” in so many ways. YACC is a place where the people who don’t have cancer are a minority, where everyone has dealt with the same load of crap as you.

What is your life like now?
I’m officially disabled. You can’t see it, but it’s true. My energy level is managed carefully. My brain fog is hefty despite so much continued work. My peripheral neuropathy affects not only my hands and feet but my lower arms, legs, and face. The price to pay for survivorship was steep, but it is worth it.

I spend my days with my three dogs, walking in the woods, and playing agility with Ride. I spend lots of time at my CrossFit gym building myself up to be my strongest self and working on balance and learning to trust my body again. I take care of our home and I spend time with my husband, Rob.

Are you interested in helping others facing cancer challenges?
Yes, especially in ways to live with brain fog and find exercise again!

[Editor’s note: If you would like to get in touch with Elise, email [email protected] and we’ll forward your message.]