Disintrajectorization

I remember when Travis first coined this phrase… once we all got our tongues around saying it, we immediately “got” what he was trying to describe.

There are many elements of disintrajectorization but the one for me that was at one time the toughest to deal with was the disconnection from “old Geoff”, the guy I used to be.

It took me a while to accept, and at some level may be I still haven’t accepted, the fact that I won’t party with my buddies like I used to… push my limits like I used to… temporarily abuse my body like I used to… it’s not that I ever thought I’d do that every weekend for the rest of my life, but I think a part of me wasn’t finished with that phase of life.

Don’t know if every guy feels this way or if it’s different for the ladies, but there is a part of me that always wants to keep a little piece of that guy I was in university, and pull him out of the basement every so often.

I can’t write a comment, I keep writing and deleting. It’s really interesting to see these videos, to see what people said (and remember what I said!) and how it goes together. Reminds me of where I was when I went to the Retreat, and when I was closer to treatment and diagnosis than I am now. I think it’s pretty truthful and offers a realistic view of what we’re faced with, I can’t wait to see more videos.

Also, I love how people are in the middle a weird gesture in the photo links. It amuses me greatly.

It’s great to go back to the start of “disintrajectorization”. This word still sums it all up.  I think that almost 4 years later I’m still trying to “reintrajectorize”

Lacy… funny how the “word” which is out there does sum up things so well… maybe you only “get” this if you have been in our shoes, not sure.

And I totally agree… the disintrajectorization is tough but the reintrajectorization can be tougher and from my experience I’d have to say that was, and still is at some level, the case.

I think one of the hardest things is to join the “normal” people again. After a year of sleeping and eating and in basic survival mode, I had to rejoin life. And if cancer wasn’t bad enough, I encountered obstacles professionally that I didn’t expect. People didn’t want to hire the “sick girl”. Even my union was cold and couldn’t help me out. When I called them at the beginning of the school year, when I was still feeling fatigued from treatment and I asked them to help me out, they asked me “How long do I plan to milk the system for.”
The disease is particularly difficult on young people financially. It is not as though we have had time to build up a nest egg. Maybe, if we are lucky we have been out of university long enough to start a career.
I also found it hard during treatment to rely on my parents again, for financial help and for support with my young family that I wasn’t able to take care of during treatment.
Sometimes, and even though it is 18 months later, I feel strange talking to people and listening to others problems. Everyday things seem so unimportant.

I could give Asha and Lacy a hug, and shake the hand of Travis, for the beautiful way you’ve all expressed your ideas in this video.

Yes this video will bring home to everyone who views it the challenges faced by those diagnosed with cancer early in their adult lives rather than towards the end of their adult lives.
Well done to everyone involved!

could give Asha and Lacy a hug, and shake the hand of Travis, for the beautiful way you’ve all expressed your ideas in this video.